The Turtle Maneuver

I spend a significant amount of my time each week with high school students. We talk about the most fascinating subjects – about what to expect from life after high school, how to figure out what to do with their lives, and how to plan for their futures. As you can easily imagine, even as I am answering their questions and engaged in discussions about their lives, I am constantly learning new things about my own approach to life as well!

I often use animal behavior as an analogy to help them figure out how they have learned to cope with life’s uncertainties. For instance, there is the ‘ostrich maneuver’. We all know that one. Stick your head in the sand and try to maintain the delicate balance – for as long as possible - between ignorance and suffocation. There is also the ever popular ‘attack dog maneuver’ – when in doubt, bite something…or somebody! And then there is, of course, the ‘rattlesnake maneuver’, which is accomplished by sending out a violent-sounding series of warnings to any approaching foot traffic – indiscriminate of whether it is harmful, helpful, or harmless.

This morning I glanced out my window and happened to catch a glimpse of a small box turtle making its ponderous way across our back lawn. I raced outside, excited to see real-live nature, up close and personal. The moment I got near, however, all I could see of the little creature was a set of wide, frightened eyes buried deep within its unexciting grey/brown exterior. Everything else ‘turtle’ had been withdrawn at the mere suggestion of my presence.

This is what I like to call the ‘turtle maneuver’, a particular favorite amongst high school seniors who are frightened at the unknown future looming ahead. And it hasn’t escaped my attention that the rest of us – myself included – continue to favor it all too frequently as well!

In this classic strategy, at the first approach of an unknown threat, any visible appendages are quickly yanked inside, and the hatches are battened down for a siege. The only problem is, the turtle remains blissfully and dangerously unaware that it is really laying siege to its own fortress! And it also fails to address the difficulty of determining, without line of sight, whether the perceived threat has in fact receded, making it safe to emerge once more. The stakes are high. A life is on the line. If the turtle waits too long to re-emerge, it can literally starve itself to death (sound familiar?) If, however, it decides to stick a little leg or tail out too quickly, whatever is lurking nearby might be lunching on turtle soup!

Far better, (especially as everyone else’s favorite and our most stressful time of year, the holidays, approaches,) to cultivate a new strategy. Standing up straight and tall and looking our stressors in the eye, as equals, enables us to learn and grow from past mistakes, and to take timely advantage of current opportunities. We do not have to be the aggressor – an attack dog who is always insecurely primed and ready for a fight, whether fighting is appropriate or necessary or not. Nor do we need to sound the alarm too soon, alienating ourselves from life and those around us, or surrendering without due provocation. We can instead learn to simply hold our ground, pacing ourselves in each moment to confront and navigate only that one moment’s challenges, before moving on to the next. We can let life present itself to us, without predisposing ourselves too quickly toward an assumed outcome. In this way, rather than binging, purging or starving our way through the holiday season, we can simply include meal and snack times as a necessary but small part of our otherwise full lives, continuing to practice and perfect the art of balance that has (hopefully) served us so well in the prior ten months of each year!

In the meantime, it seems timely this month for a reprint of last year’s holiday tips and techniques for a successful holiday season experience, so HERE they are again. As you read through them, feel free to send in any tips and techniques that work well for you too, and I will publish them in next month’s edition.

Happy holidays to you all!

Shannon

If you would like to submit a question or idea for a topic you would like to see addressed in a future edition, please send it to Shannon c/o Good News HERE