Sunday, February 13, 2005

By Yolanda Green / KHWB News

(Yolanda Green, Host of "Outlook Houston") Shannon Cutts was just 11 years old when she began her struggle with anorexia and by 18, she had become bulimic. Shannon is a survivor who now works to educate others about the dangers of eating disorders. Shannon joins me this morning. Welcome to Outlook Houston.

(Shannon Cutts) Thank you so much for having me.

(Yolanda Green) What makes an 11 year old think that they have a weight problem?

(Shannon Cutts) A lot of it is the media messages that they're fed from the moment that they're old enough to take in images and subtle messages and a lot of girls that I work with say: "Why do I want to be so thin? I've always wanted this but I don't even know why." It's because they were kind of told and educated that they want this from the time they were old enough to take in these images so that by the time they hit about age 11, which is about the time they start to have some disposable income, they're ready to tell their mom and dad what they want. And since 50% of media marketing targets beauty as a reason to buy their products, it's very important that this education take place.

(Yolanda Green) But I know there are some children who do have weight issues at a young age. At 11 years old, did you have a true weight issue or was it something that you thought you had?

(Shannon Cutts) A combination of factors, really. I grew up in the public school system and so by virtue of when my birthday fell, I was always about genetically a year older than everyone else in my class, so I, you know, was a few inches taller and I was putting on my pre-pubescent body weight about a year earlier than everybody else in my class - so I generally tended to look fat which gave rise to a lot of peer pressure. You know, 'what's... you look different, what's wrong?' I mean, if you've got, you know, one thing that sticks out at that age, everybody's going to jump on it. And so there is that factor but you know, there's also just that perceived notion that kids carry with them, that there's something wrong with them and that sometimes contributes to the feeling fat, which may or may not actually be true.

(Yolanda Green) So once you start this feeling fat, how did you progress into having anorexia?

(Shannon Cutts) Well, it actually was one pivotal moment in time, when my best friend - from the time I was in kindergarten - came up to me in sixth grade and said: "Shannon I hear you've been telling people that we're best friends..." and yeah (laughing) since kindergarten and she said: "Well you're really just too fat to fit into my social circle. I have social ambitions and you can't go where I want to go." And it was at that moment that I woke up and realized, hey, there's something wrong with me. You know, kids are not born with an awareness of their body as an extension of them self and they're not born with really kind of understanding the difference between "fat" and "not fat" and what it means to be fat and when you've crossed the line. So a lot of times it takes peer input in order...

(Yolanda Green) So what did you start doing to yourself? I mean, were you just not eating at all? How did you conceal it even from your parents?

(Shannon Cutts) Interestingly enough, it started with a simple diet which is, in a lot of cases, how an eating disorder does start. My mom and dad encouraged me to diet because I expressed a desire to do that and I was just a little bit overweight. The problem is, I was getting ready to grow so I probably could've kept that weight on and be just fine in about 6 months when I grew 5 inches. But we put me on a kind of just a restrained calories and my dad dieted with me, to kind of support me and because my emotional maturity really wasn't there, my mental reasoning ability wasn't there, I kind of saw dieting like an extended insurance plan. Like, if I just diet. I'm on a roll right now. I don't really like this dieting thing but if I just diet a little bit more and a little bit more now, then I can eat whatever I want later and everyone will love me. And by the time I realized that I was actually emotionally and mentally caught up in this dieting cycle, it was too late. The eating disorder already had me.

(Yolanda Green) And because you went from the anorexia to also dealing with bulimia, at the height of the disease, how much did you weigh?

(Shannon Cutts) About 90 pounds.

(Yolanda Green) So you were 90 pounds?

(Shannon Cutts) 90 pounds.

(Yolanda Green) At age 18 were you 90 pounds, or...

(Shannon Cutts) I pretty much fluctuated from 90 to 92 pounds for quite some time but we get very good at hiding the disease. A coat like this you know, over some baggy jeans and a big XXL t-shirt and you know, a lot of people won't pick up on it.

(Yolanda Green) How do you feel about the web sites that are out now, that are teaching young girls how to conceal the disease?

(Shannon Cutts) Yeah, I actually just did an interview about the "Pro ana / Pro mia" web sites and they're fueled by a misplaced desire to be in community. We were born and created to be in community and it's real hard for us because this disease isolates us, so it's out of a misplaced desire to connect and support others that these girls who are real sick, develop these sites that offer tips and helpful guidelines for how to be a better anorexic. Because anorexia and bulimia, these eating disorders at their core are about misplaced desire and potential to excel. Most of these girls are type AAA personalities with extra high intelligence and they're going to be real good at whatever they do. And...

(Yolanda Green) And so as a parent, if you believe your child has a problem, what are some of the warning signs - some of the things that you did?

(Shannon Cutts) Sure, well, some of the things that you'll notice is - the child will skip meal times or think of creative reasons why they... well they just ate an hour ago, they're not hungry or they don't really like that food any more or they'll push food around on their plate. For people that are bulimic, a lot of times if you notice that they seem to eat a reasonable amount but then they run off to the bathroom afterwards and maybe you hear the sound of running water or you notice when they come out, their cheeks are swollen or their face looks red or they just seem to stay in there a real long time. Signs of depression, suicidal tendencies, irritability, inability to concentrate, they're sleepy all the time...

(Yolanda Green) With all of that going on, what brought you out? What helped you to get over - to make it through this disease?

(Shannon Cutts) Honestly... I don't know if you've ever seen the movie with Jennifer Lopez called "Enough"... yeah, where she has this abusive spouse and all of a sudden she realizes that what he's offering to her - what she calls "love" - isn't really love at all. It was when I lost my music. The disease took the nutrition out of my body to the extent that it injured my hands and I couldn't play music any more. And I was throwing up so much and I couldn't sing because the stomach acids were really injuring and irritating my vocal chords. And it's like I woke up from this dream of you know, if I just look this way, then everyone will love me and I'll be fine and I'll be successful and you know the world will relate to me with kindness. And I realized I was all alone and I was miserable, I was suicidal and I had lost the one thing I was living for. It was like I said: "Wait a minute, this is not love! Enough! I'm going to take my life back because I was living for something until now and I want that back!" And I made this... ironically, the people that have the eating disorder have everything it takes to heal. Everything.

(Yolanda Green) They just don't know it. And Shannon I know you're a frequent speaker at schools and churches and civic organizations. Would you give us your web site address, so that people can log on if they want more information?

(Shannon Cutts) Absolutely. It's "KEY-TO-LIFE.COM".

(Yolanda Green) Shannon Cutts, thank you very much for stopping by and for sharing your story. Really, we appreciate it.

(Shannon Cutts) You're so welcome. Thanks for having me.