QUESTION: How do I stop the urge to purge after eating?

ANSWER: The urge itself isn’t really the issue, as you are probably already aware. It is what is UNDERNEATH the urge to purge that must be, not just stopped, but ADDRESSED. In fact, it cannot be stopped until it is addressed. So….what is causing the desire to purge? And I am not just talking about the fear of getting fat from consuming the food. What does the fear of getting fat (or whatever the fear may be for you) represent to you? What is the RESULT of getting fat? What is the REAL fear – what is really at the foundational root of your urge to purge?

Do you see what I’m getting at here? Those of us with eating disorders are blessed (or cursed) with naturally overly-analytical, inquiring minds. And yet, in this one area, when it comes to deciphering the compulsion towards disordered eating behaviors, we allow our minds to go curiously blank. We cease analyzing and simply engage. At the onset of the compulsion to practice disordered eating behaviors, we – the very same soldiers who steadfastly endure the almost un-endurable rigors of an eating disorder day after day after day – all too easily throw up our hands and admit defeat. Hmmm…….

Now, yes, there is a genetic factor at work in most cases. And, yes, there have been wonderful recent studies highlighting the effectiveness of a new device that emits a mild electrical impulse that seems to curb the desire to purge (for more on this study, click HERE). However, even DNA does not excuse us from doing the hard work of figuring out why we continue to do something we so obviously long to break free from. Just like a cancer patient is not excused from the hard work of undergoing and participating fully in treatment, so too must we engage daily in a sustained, courageous fight for our lives! If we want to live, if we want to truly turn a corner towards a disordered eating-free lifestyle, we must invest absolutely everything we’ve got – every cell in our body and thought in our mind – towards overcoming our eating disorder.

It will probably be a help to you to create a list of alternate coping skills that you can refer to when the urge to purge becomes insistent. But first on that list (after taking yourself away from the danger zone areas, like near a bathroom, for instance) should be sitting yourself down and deciphering WHY the urge arose in the first place. Does it arise after every meal? If not, then why after some and not others? My big breakthrough in overcoming my own bulimic behaviors came one night after a stressful mealtime conversation, when I realized I was throwing up EMOTIONS I did not know how to DIGEST. I realized I would have to learn how to feel, process, break down and move past strong emotions before I could resist the urge to purge them away. I was trying to escape from doing the hard work of feeling – myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my life – through purging instead. The lazy woman’s way out….or through. I didn’t want to take that route anymore. I couldn’t afford to take that route anymore. And I knew I had it in me to do better – to be stronger – to survive my own emotional life and even learn something from it!

You can too. I can also promise you that, if you look for your reasons, you will find them. And once you find them, that is when you can create a list of alternate mechanisms to address those reasons – skills other than purging that will accomplish the same goal, and will also leave you feeling good about yourself, and GLAD to be alive to tell others about your triumph over your eating disorder!

Thank you for writing – let us know how the Good News community can support you.

Warmly,

Shannon

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