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QUESTION: Hey, I have a question, a couple of years ago I struggled with a eating disorder, and it was the worst time in my life. A few months ago I joined a group on myspace that helped stop eating disorders but there were girls in the group that on their headlines they were like: "Starving till perfection", and "I love being anorexic." I was like how can they say that, so I tried to add one of those people and I tried to help them and I used the approach of telling them how I was 2 years ago, and I even played the part of still having an eating disorder so that they would talk to me and I could get them to start eating again, and I helped this one girl get through her struggles, but there are so many out there on myspace that have eating disorders, and even want them, and I don’t know how to help them, I guess since I helped one person it's worthwhile but i just don't know what to do. Do you have any advice? The most important thing to remember when beginning to offer help to someone with a similar issue to your own is to make SURE your own recovery is on a firm footing first. From what you have written, it sounds like you are very committed to recovery and have at least several months’ experience of recovered life under your belt. However, take care that, in your desire to help others, you do not allow your efforts on your own behalf to take a back seat. Having said that, thank you for your desire to be of service to others who are hurting! The best way I have found to help someone else is to just be willing to talk about my experiences. In my own work as a mentor, I can honestly say that I have never gone seeking to mentor someone – they have always found me. Have I joined support groups? Yes. Have I established a website and a myspace to share what works for me? Yes. But I have never actively asked someone else to allow me to mentor them. In every case, I have received a request from someone who can identify with my story and is ready to recover. So just keep talking about your story. Keep participating in the groups – keep sharing what worked for you and the benefits of recovered life. I will say that, while I am glad it worked with the girl you met, I do not necessarily recommend concealing the nature of your recovery to get a foot in the door with someone who is hurting, because sometimes a ‘bait and switch’ tactic can backfire and damage trust. Just something to think about for the future. Ultimately, you are helping others just by being alive. You beat your eating disorder, which means others can too. Consider working as a coordinator for eating disorders week in your area – organizing activities to promote size-acceptance and whole-person beauty. Write songs about how you healed and why you are glad you did. Start a recovery-oriented support group, and keep participating in the ones you have already found. It is always worthwhile to offer your help. Resolve not to get discouraged if you do not see immediate opportunities to help, or if your efforts to help someone do not bear immediate fruit. Take care of you and your own recovery, do what feels right when someone else is in need, and just concentrate now on learning to LIVE! Warmly, and with HOPE, Shannon Do you have a related question you would like to submit for future editions of Good News? Would you like to send a message of encouragement and support to the person who asked this question? (NOTE: all messages of support will be received and published anonymously in future editions of Good News) If you would like to submit a question or send a message of support please send it to Shannon c/o Good News HERE |