Good News
...an eating disorders/addictions outreach & support e-newsletter for friends of Shannon & Key to Life

 

Welcome from Shannon!
Welcome to the very first edition of Good News – the e-newsletter dedicated to strengthening our collective commitment to living life free from eating disordered behaviors!

Good News has been a requested goal of mine for quite some time, and is sent to you now with great love and encouragement as you continue to work on healing from your own eating disordered behavior and/or support someone you love who is striving to heal. After this first edition, continued participation in the Good News e-newsletter community is optional – please consider this first edition your invitation to receive the Good News e-newsletter on a regular basis. And if you know of a friend or loved one who might also benefit from receiving Good News, please feel free to forward it to them, or to invite them join the confidential listgroup to receive Good News in the future.

Each edition of Good News will share insights and information gathered from our collective wisdom that is designed to lovingly and compassionately support one another in our healing journeys. You can expect to find the following topics on a regular basis - and if there is another topic you wish to have addressed, please follow the links below to submit your request, question or testimonial! (all communications will be kept 100%confidential and will be read by Shannon personally)

-Question of the Month
-Contemplation of the Month
-Recommended Viewing/Reading/Listening/Websurfing
-Invitation to Readers to Submit Questions, Testimonials, Requests

 

Question of the Month
I receive many wonderful questions each month from women I mentor, and I will share one question, and a summary of my answer, each month in Good News. (If you have a question you would like to submit to be answered in a future edition of Good News, please follow the link below to submit your question for consideration)

This month’s question is:
Q: When you began healing from your eating disorder, did you ever feel like you were just lying to yourself as you attempted to change your thoughts processes?

A: Yes, sometimes I did feel like I was lying or deluding myself about whether I’d ever be able to change or not. And I think this is very natural – both to feel like this and to ask this question. This is an incredibly important question to ask – but even more important to ask is the question of which ‘you’ you feel you are lying to. Let me explain - right now, just like I was and like every person healing from an eating disorder will be at a certain stage of recovery, you will find yourself to be of two minds about your healing and recovery. If you can think of it (in the most positive sense) like a schizophrenia – where one-half of your mind is healthy and wants to recover, and one-half of your mind is ill and wants to stay that way – your conflict about healing will seem less jarring and scary.

See, you don’t just have one thought process going on as you strive to heal from your eating disordered behavior and the thought processes that are driving it. For some time yet to come you will have two simultaneous trains of thought going on in your head – one train of thought saying ‘Good job - you are getting better!’ and the other train of thought saying ‘You are failing because you are getting better’. Your job – in one sense your ONLY job - right now as you are healing is to choose carefully which train of thought, which ‘truth’, you listen to. You must be vigilant to ask yourself, each moment of each day, which train of thought you are listening to and which ‘truth’ you are calling ‘true’. When you listen to the train of thought that wants to heal, then and only then you will be able to believe you can change your thought processes, because each moment you invest in paying attention to the part of you that wants to get better, that part of you will get stronger and more dominant.

It’s not easy, I know. I had to do it too, and I had to struggle a LOT especially in the beginning to listen to ‘healthy’ Shannon instead of ‘eating disordered Shannon’. In fact, it is a lifelong effort you will make, just as I did and continue to do. So just make a commitment to yourself that no matter what, you will never give up trying to listen to your ‘healthy’ mind that wants to get better and partner with you to build a life full of all your dreams. And just like lifting weights or strength training, the more time and effort you invest into listening to your healthy mind rather than your sick mind, the stronger you will become in that area. I had to invest an incredible amount of time into my healthy mind before it became strong enough to overpower my sick mind, but after a time I built up my new healthy ‘muscles’ and it became much easier to tune in to the good thoughts and support myself in my healing process in this way. You will find, as you pursue healing, that it will feel much the same for you.

One excellent way to strengthen yourself in this area is to keep a list of your dreams, and a description of what your ‘dream life’ will look like, handy. Whenever you start to doubt that you can change your thought processes, your behaviors, and your life, and whenever your thoughts start to seem dark and self-defeating, re-read the description of your dream life. Take a look at the thought and behavior choices you are making and ask yourself whether they will be able to deliver your dreams to you. For instance, when I used to want to have a bulimic episode and throw up right before a recording session, I would have to refer to my dream list and ask myself if I could have both bulimia and a recording career. Then I would ask myself which I wanted more – bulimia or a recording career. My own answers would strengthen me to be able to say no to the behaviors my ‘sick’ mind was telling me to engage in. My healthy mind would become so enraged at my sick mind’s attempt to sabotage my dreams, and it would refuse to let the sick thoughts gain the upper hand. In this way I would be able to successfully suppress my urge to have a bulimic episode by remembering my dreams and refusing to let anything get in the way of the healthy me building the life I dreamed of for myself.

You can use this same technique to empower yourself to choose health and life when you are tempted to go back to old damaging behaviors.

 

Contemplation of the month
Quote: One of my all-time favorite authors, Iyanla Vanzant, said in her book Yesterday I Cried, ‘Whatever shows up in your life is the answer. You have to figure out what the question is.’

Contemplation: If you are willing, spend some time contemplating and journaling about what has ‘shown up’ in your life. Examples could be a relationship, hobby, dream or desire, habit (including your eating disorder), or vocation. What aspects of your life do you feel clearly reflect who you know yourself to be? What aspects feel inauthentic with who you know yourself to be, or who you dream of being? What questions can you ask yourself about what is present in your life right now? What changes would you like to make, and what kind of support and help do you need to make those changes?

 

Recommended Viewing, Reading, Listening/Websurfing of the Month
Seabiscuit, The Movie – As an athlete in the beginning of his pursuit of excellence in his field, the jockey cultivated the habit of bulimia to try to achieve his goals. Map out for yourself the journey he took, the challenges he faced and what qualities eventually led him to triumph as a winning rider. How have you been using your eating disordered behavior to achieve your life-goals? Can your eating disorder deliver on the promises it has made to you – why or why not? What kind of behavior will you need to cultivate in order to achieve success in the areas of importance to you in your life?

Iyanla Vanzant, Yesterday I Cried – Iyanla Vanzant had an incredibly difficult childhood, which led to an incredibly difficult adolescence and very challenging early adult years. Yet today she is a confidante and advisor to Oprah, and a best-selling author with a loving husband and fulfilling life. What can you take from her recovery journey to strengthen you in your own? Pay special attention to how she created a loving circle of empowering, supportive women in her life to celebrate and encourage her. Identify five women (or men) - they can be people you currently know, people you would like to get to know, or people you simply admire and draw inspiration from - who inspire you, and write out one quality you share in common with each of them. This is your own Empowerment Circle – the good company you will share on your recovery journey.

Tori Amos, Crucify – Tori Amos is a very strong woman who has faced rape and miscarriage and emerged with honesty and courage to tell her story through song and word to all who will listen. She knows how to balance telling her truth without getting stuck in it. She is not afraid of what other people will think of what she has to say, or of the words she chooses to say it. She knows the value of facing the dark places within herself and in that way clearing out past hurts to let the light in. What do you need to face within yourself? What dark places are you avoiding in your own life? Where are you afraid to tell the truth for fear of being judged or rejected? Where are there areas of shame that refuse to let you rest? Begin to listen to Tori’s songs and ‘write’ your own songs in the areas of relationship, sexuality, growing up, religion & spirituality, career and love. Write the past, the present, and your dreams for the future. Write what is raw and real, but also what is dreamed of and still possible for you in your life. Hold nothing back. Who you are is beautiful – just like who Tori is is beautiful, whether anyone else sees, approves or agrees or not. Look in the mirror of you and see yourself as you really are, and thank yourself for having the courage and honesty to be YOU!

www.jessicaweiner.com - Jessica Weiner is a featured guest in my upcoming book, Beautiful...unmasking the lie of addiction and reclaiming the real YOU. Jessica is a powerhouse speaker and actionist (read more on her site for what an 'actionist' is). She has found a way, after years of battling bulimia and binge eating, to embrace her uniqueness, beauty, strength, power, purpose and heart, and has built an incredible life for herself by blending her passion for creativity, drama, service work and positive change together to transform the lives of everyone she meets. She has dedicated her life to helping other women access and appreciate the beauty within. Meet Jessica and allow her story to inspire you to new heights of courage and insight in your own healing work!

 

Until We Meet Again....
Your feedback and input is very welcomed as a valued member of the Good News community! Please share what will best support, empower, inspire and encourage you to continue the vital healing and life-transforming work you are engaged in even as you read this in saving, restoring, honoring and loving YOU! And until we meet again, know you are remembered, cherished, prayed for and much-loved by myself and the Key to Life team!

with love & many blessings,

Shannon

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