QUESTION: i need help.im 16 years old and i been stuggling with bulimia and anorexia for a long time. i need hope to recover. i am struggling with anorexia and bulimia. i’m in a process of recovery but it’s really hard because sometimes i don’t know if i really have a problem.


ANSWER: The general rule of thumb is that, if you think you have a problem, you probably do. You know better than anyone else when something is not working well for you in your life – a behavior pattern, a habit, a lifestyle choice you have made, your relationship with food, your body, another person, etc. We know when something is out of balance in our lives and it needs fixing.

So, given what you have shared in your letter, I would suspect that you do have a problem and you need some help to deal with it. It is hard to tell from your letter what level of support (if any) you have right now – a support team is an essential element of the healing process. While I realize that many people struggling to recover from an eating disorder do not have the resources to build the ‘ideal’ support team of a medical doctor, counselor, psychiatrist, dietician and mentor, you must do what you can to get yourself the help you need. I myself did not have the benefit of a support team when I was healing, and it made recovery much harder. I still recovered, but I believe it took me longer than it would have if I had been able to receive professional help.

All that to say, the first step is to admit to yourself that YES, you do have a problem and that YES, you do need help. After that, you must take recovery step by step, seeking out people who can help and support you, and doing the hard work of healing day-by-day. Recovery is not supposed to feel easy or effortless. Like anything worth doing, it will demand your best effort if you want the best results. You will get out of recovery what you put into it.

Continue to seek out support. If there is the opportunity to attend support groups in your community, by all means take advantage of them. Join positive, recovery-oriented online groups and post often and ask for support from fellow members. Seek out a therapist who can work with you one on one to heal the issues that have caused you to return to your disordered eating behavior patterns. If you do not have insurance, ask about a sliding scale – many therapists offer sliding scale fees to their patients. Or look for free counseling services at a local college or medical school where students are training to enter the counseling profession. Be proactive and resourceful. Think of everything you can do to pursue recovery and then do it. Ask for help. Read everything you can about the healing process – talk to others and find out what has worked well for them, and then try it for yourself. I would go to the library and read self-help books and try the ideas. I created my own recovery plan and followed it – not perfectly, but with perseverance. In time, I began to see results.

Hang in there. You are obviously struggling, but you have enough courage to write to me, to find the videos on You Tube, to recognize hope when it comes to you and cling to it with everything you’ve got. Continue to use your hope to guide you and propel you forward in your recovery efforts. Ironically, the same qualities that have made you good at maintaining your eating disorder will be the same qualities that will enable to overcome your eating disorder. Turn all that misdirected potential – your courage, discipline, perseverance and perfectionism – around and point it at your eating disorder, and fire away!

Warmly, and with HOPE,

Shannon

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