QUESTION: I have twin daughters who are collegiate cheerleaders. They are very athletic and very competitive. I worry about eating disorders and the statistics you mentioned when you visited us. They currently have bad fast food type eating habits and I am going to help them change to healthier habits so they can keep their weight under control without feeling the need to lose more. I think the emotional control and understanding the real purpose of food is important...I need help in suggestions how to? I have modeled somewhat and kept my weight under control without developing any disorders maintaining a size 8 or 10.......but it can be hidden, I know ...thanks!

ANSWER: The issue we face in our culture is that food has been elevated to a status far beyond its ability to deliver on its promises. It is not just fuel for our car (body) anymore. It is love. It is status. It is relationship. It is success. It is satisfaction. It is comfort. It is reassurance. It is life itself.

The first step is to de-mystify the role of food in our lives. Food is fuel for the body. Period, the End. I cannot stress this enough. This is one of the fundamental truths I had to get into my own head before I experienced true relief from my eating disorder. I taught myself to treat ingestion of food like I was refueling my car. When my tank was empty, I obviously needed to re-fill it in order to keep going forward! When I had filled my tank, I needed to use up what I had before adding more.

This takes the sting out of all the different ways advertisers and marketers try to use food to yank our strings and get us to buy their products in a misguided attempt to meet other needs that food cannot meet. When we need fuel, we eat and that is how we get it. When we have fuel, we do not need to eat until we run out. When we have emotional, mental or relational needs, food cannot help us, regardless of what the advertisement may claim, because food is just fuel for the body.

Similarly, I created the 90/10 Rule for myself, where ninety percent of my food choices related to hydration and nutrient needs. For this, I needed to learn about the four basic food groups, about my own digestive system and its unique quirks (what foods agreed with me, what foods didn’t, what I might be allergic to, what my body craved and why cravings occur, etc). I quickly learned that I needed to have some fruits, some veggies, some protein, some carbohydrates and some fats each day. I also needed to be properly hydrated with enough electrolytes to absorb and use the liquids I consumed. So I could figure it out – if I hadn’t had spinach that day, but I wanted a twinkie (or McDonald’s), obviously, I had to eat the spinach. That was what my tank needed. That was where my nutritional needs would be met. It was not about emotion and want. It was about nutrition and need.

However, I saved ten percent of my daily food intake for enjoyment. Food, like other creative arts, is an expression of all that life and this earth has to offer us. As long as I kept it in moderation, I learned to enjoy what food had to offer so that I could cease to fear it, crave it, avoid it or over-consume it.

So try talking with your daughters about these two concepts – food as fuel for the body, and the 90/10 Rule for times when they are celebrating or out with friends and want to simply enjoy all that life has to offer them, which includes tasty and fun foods!

Finally, I have sought out moderation as an antidote to the extremes imposed by both our culture and by my former eating disorder. When I seek moderation, I am otherwise occupied when the extremes come knocking on my door again. When I seek intelligent, health-conscious food consumption, I allay my fears that the advertisers and marketers may be right that food can address not just my physical needs but my emotional or mental malaise or dis-ease as well. When I stick to what I know works for me, I free up time and energy for the REST of my life goals.

I always encourage everyone I meet to develop a system for themselves that feels right. But this is what has worked for me. I hope these thoughts are helpful – good luck to you and your daughters!

Warmly and with HOPE,

Shannon

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