Below are some general guidelines for serving as a mentor. Please note that these guidelines are merely insights from Shannon's own work as a mentor, and are NOT meant to be comprehensive.
Guidelines for Mentors*:
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Refrain from volunteering to serve as a mentor until you are in strong recovery (at least one year largely free from symptoms of disordered eating behaviors and attendant unhealthy coping patterns)
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Before beginning to serve as a mentor, be clear and honest with yourself about your motivations for doing so. Do not rush yourself through your own recovery because you wish to help others!
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The wise and effective mentor will first and always be a mentee as well. Find your balance between giving out of the fullness of what you have learned and earned through your own recovery, and continuing to receive centering guidance and instruction from those ahead of you on the recovery path
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Safeguard your own recovery and DO NOT TAKE ON MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE! If the mentor-mentee relationship requires more time and/or energy than you are able to offer, redirect your mentee(s) to find a more appropriate match
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Be very clear with your mentee(s) about the time commitment you can make. If you are only available via email or phone, say so. If you are only available on certain days, say so. If certain topics fall outside your area of experience, refrain from offering feedback in those areas
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Be willing to halt or end the relationship if at any time it appears that your mentee is no longer willing to actively work towards recovery, or if the relationship itself becomes a detriment to the mentee's progress in recovery, or to your own continued strong recovery
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Require all mentee(s) who are minors to obtain parental permission before entering into a mentoring relationship
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Do not attempt to supercede or replace other treatment options or team members – seek to be a complement to any structure already in place and encourage mentee(s) to build a full support network
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Use caution when making recommendations outside of any training or expertise you may have. Partner with other treatment professionals or guide mentee(s) to seek additional assistance
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Clearly communicate to mentee(s) that any insight/feedback you offer as a mentor is NOT meant to replace the advice and care of a medical professional
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Focus on troubleshooting for daily living and recovery-related issues as they arise
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Share your personal story only as one example - remember that each person's story is unique
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Strive above all to awaken the wise and confident healer within your mentee(s)
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Be committed, available, open and honest, patient, kind, and willing to be wrong
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Remember what it was like for you during your own recovery, and adjust recommendations/expectations accordingly
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Remember that the #1 healer is unconditional love
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Faithful, consistent, positive feedback is key
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De-personalize the process - focus on achieving desired results more than on adoption of specific suggestions
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In the presence of triggers, proceed with caution - instead of becoming overly involved in discussions of numbers, weight, etc., pinpoint what those topics may represent and how to address those underlying issues successfully
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Remember the mentor-mentee relationship is voluntary and that it is the mentee's job to make good use of the opportunity
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Avoid any attempt to coerce mentee(s) into wanting to heal or doing the work. Instead, emphasize the benefits of recovery as you have experienced them
