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MentorCONNECT - Just for Mentees
Below are some general guidelines for being mentored. Please note that these guidelines are merely insights from Shannon's own work mentoring others, and are NOT meant to be comprehensive.
 Guidelines for Mentees**:
- Screen your mentor carefully. Accept only a mentor who has demonstrated sustained remission from disordered eating behaviors and attendant unhealthy coping patterns for at least twelve consecutive months.
- Seek complimentary recovery experiences. While it is not necessarily essential that your mentor have achieved recovery from the exact same issue you are struggling with, s/he should have firsthand experience of going through the recovery process itself
- Be clear about your readiness and motivations for seeking mentoring. If you can state verbally and in writing with 100% certainty that you are ready, willing and able (re: nutritional/weight stabilization has been achieved and maintained for at least one month) to work towards your own recovery, then you know that you are ready to seek a mentor
- Trust your gut - mentoring is a unique relationship, and it may take a couple of tries to find the right 'fit' for your needs
- If you are a minor, obtain parental permission before seeking a mentor
- Do not attempt to use the advice or insight of your mentor to replace the advice and care of a qualified medical professional – instead, integrate your mentor into any existing support network you already have
- Be open and honest with any existing treatment team about the inclusion of your mentor, and vice versa with your mentor about your treatment team
- Communicate clearly with your mentor about what you are hoping to obtain out of a mentoring relationship
- Follow the guidelines your mentor provides for how and when to contact them
- Be proactive - use the support and experience of your mentor whenever you feel the need
- Practice the HOW of recovery - be honest, open and willing to explore new ways of responding to life's challenges, try on new ideas for size, and put into practice suggestions before accepting or rejecting their validity
- Under no circumstances should you adopt any suggestion or idea that has a negative impact on your recovery goals, EVEN IF it has worked well for someone else in their recovery!
- Focus on daily troubleshooting to build skills to use in place of your eating disorder in stressful situations
- Do not be too concerned if your mentor's personal story varies from your own - focus more on the underlying coping skills that aided your mentor in their recovery process and how you might apply them in your own life as well
- Do not place the responsibility for your recovery on your mentor or any other treatment team member - it is YOU who will benefit most from your own recovery
- Seek progress over perfection. Even if your mentor can NOW clearly and quickly articulate potential solutions to longstanding issues you are facing, remember that s/he was once standing in your shoes. It takes time for EVERYONE to achieve lasting recovery! You are no exception – and anything worth having is worth waiting and working for – no matter how long it takes
- Set your own pace for your recovery - do not allow anyone to push you into situations or experiences that you feel inadequately prepared for
- Let love be your guide. If you feel consistent, foundational love and support from your mentor, regardless of any temporary differences of opinion, fears or resistances that may arise, then that is a good indication that the relationship is still productive and worth continuing
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