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 Advice About Seeking Inpatient Treatment
Hi Shannon -
I am not doing so well, and have a question for you. I'm thinking of doing inpatient this may after school ends for the summer, and am wondering how I can know for sure if it's what I need? I do feel like I really want it, and that I can't fight this anymore. I'm having a really tough time every single day, and it doesn't seem to be improving. I feel completely out of control and helpless, and the few days I have just feel like a complete cover up. I'm so ashamed and feel constant guilt, and I feel like I want to get to the root of everything. I just don't feel like I can do it without more help. What do you think?
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Hi - thanks so much for writing. You ask a very good question, and I can share some thoughts with you to help you consider your options and the next steps for you.
Not to oversimplify, but I honestly believe our hearts know and tell the truth without ceasing. In my experience, there are several ways to confirm for yourself that a persistent heart-'knowing' such as you feel you are having now is in fact the right assessment of what is needed -
1. Confirmation over time. Your heart tells you the same information each day - for instance 'I need to seek out inpatient treatment - yet again today I feel like I can't handle this any more on my own. I felt like this yesterday, I still feel this way today - I will most likely still feel this way tomorrow.'
2. Physical evidence - can include delayed recovery, continued poor health, continued disordered behaviors you can't seem to put a stop to. 'Yet again I sought to stop throwing up, but somehow I still threw up again today. I don't know why I do this when I don't want to and I'm out ideas for where to find the answers for myself and how to help myself.'
3. Prayer around the issue that frames the question 'what should I do' followed by careful attention to your heart's response to different options. 'Continue on my own' - produces panic and anxiety in you. 'Seek out inpatient treatment' - produces peace and a sense of having found a way out of an unworkable situation.
I cannot tell you what the best option is for you, and as I am not a licensed counselor or medical professional I can't give you any feedback beyond what worked for me in seeking out the best avenue for healing. But I can promise you that if you seek the answer using the three methods above you will know what to do next.
Several factors will play into what you decide to do next -
1. What type of insurance coverage you have and what that insurance will cover. Certain in-patient programs will cover certain inpatient treatment facilities.
2. The type of treatment you are seeking. Just something for you to consider as you are researching programs and choosing where you might prefer to go.
My recommendation for you would be that you decide, starting today, to do the research - first explore what your insurance will cover and then research treatment programs from there. Do not worry about the time it will take out of your life, your schooling, or your forward progress. As you by now have realized, without healing from the disorder, everything in your future is up for grabs and uncertain anyway. It is worth as much time as it takes to heal thoroughly. I admire and respect you deeply for having the courage to admit that your efforts are not sufficient to achieve the results you desire. You CAN heal. How you do that is the question before you now, not whether.
A further recommendation for you is that you drop the guilt, shame and feelings of living a lie from your life. The only shame you should ever feel is in not taking advantage of every resource available to you to heal. Begin now to change your relationship with your healing process from one of guilt and shame to self-encouragement and an awareness of the tremendous energy and self-effort (free will) you are pouring into making your disorder a thing of the past. If you were really living a lie, you and I would not be talking right now. You are very open to sharing what is going on with those who are safe, trustworthy, and in a position to help facilitate your healing. Now the next step is deciding how best to continue to heal from here.
You can do it - I truly believe that. And if you still have questions you are welcome to email me and ask.
Blessings & love,
Shannon
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