Advice about talking to a bulimic friend
Dear Ms. Shannon if I could talk to you that would be great because I have a friend who is just like you used to be in the bulimic area. And I really don't know what to tell her to do and I wish I could tell her what to do. I really wish that she would stop but I don't think that she is planning on it. She gets really stressed out about things and she decides to go and throw up. She hasn't told any one but myself and a few of he other close friends, I just wish I had the right words to express to her and tell her that she doesn't have to do that. But I would really like to talk to you and ask you what I can say to help her.

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Hi - I'm so glad you wrote. My best advice to you is something that will be hard to hear - share your concerns with your friend in a supportive, loving and open, non-judgmental way. But do not expect her to change as a result of what you say. She HAS to want to heal - that desire has to come from inside of her. You cannot do that for her, and you cannot induce it into her.

This is one of the hardest facts for friends to hear - and to watch a friend suffer is a difficult thing. There are some other things you could try that might in time develop her desire to heal. You could offer to help her set up a time to go and visit with a counselor, and offer to go with her. Certainly continue to invest time and energy into your friendship with her, above all by reminding her of her gifts and talents and all her wonderful qualities that make you love her enough to want her to get better. This also puts you in a good position to hold her trust and continue to share your concerns with her.

You could also get online at some various sites and do a little research about the effect that bulimia has on health - maybe sharing this information with her would help her to make a decision that is healthy for her future. Try www.bulimia.com, www.anred.com, www.mirror-mirror.org for starters. There are also many great book recommendations on the key to life website.

Please feel free to keep in touch with me, and to send your friend the Key To Life weblink and invite her to get in touch with me directly. I would be honored to help her and encourage you both in any way I can. I hope this helps a little as you try to support your friend in what she is going through. It is a good sign that she trusts you enough to confide in you - that makes you ideally placed to be a voice of hope in her life, and to intervene by telling her parents or another adult in her life if the bulimia becomes life-threatening.

Blessings,

Shannon